In some ways I live an unconventional life. At 40 I live happily alone with no aspirations to have a nuclear family, I left a well paid job in tech to teach yoga & raving is still a favourite source of pleasure.
In my 20s I did the domestic thing - the boyfriend, the flat, the ‘good job’ & in the end I found it stifling & dull.
During my early 30s I had two unplanned pregnancies which resulted in two miscarriages. At the time I thought I wanted children so it was a painful chapter but in retrospect I’m not sure that want came from a particularly conscious place.
I spent my mid-thirties challenging & dismantling my belief systems & after much deep introspection I don’t think kids are for me. Never say never but it’s not something I’m working towards & it’s been freeing to unshackle myself from a biological clock!
My love life is a bit unorthodox & therefore I find it’s more open to judgement & criticism. This used to jar me but as I’ve grown in confidence what others think tends to matter less & mostly people are just trying to make sense of something outside their sphere of reference.
Ultimately the only person who needs to get behind my choices is me, validation can be nice but it’s not necessary & nor should it influence how I choose to live.
Venturing outside the norm can be challenging, we are biologically wired to run with the pack, back in the day leaving could mean death & I think we still carry this fear.
However contrary to common belief there isn’t just one way to do things, there are infinite, we’re just conditioned from birth to follow a certain formula in promise of happiness… but humans aren’t formulaic, we’re stardust & magic & the real key to happiness can’t just be decoded through mortgages & marriage - not for everyone anyway.
In expressing our individual originality the creativity of the universe comes to know itself and for me, I’m at my happiest when I allow my soul to roam free outside the restrictive confines of society’s prescriptions.
If you’re feeling trapped don't be afraid to break with convention, be brave & honour your spirit, because it’s here, through you that the unique mystery of life wants to unfold.
Photo credit @londonfromtherooftops
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